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pepe820's picture
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Joined: 2017-12-30
should I just go alone?
Hi there. I am Alison from Birmingham. I have been trying to have a baby for the past two years now. I have finally convinced my husband that it is time to seek medical assistance. However, he is still hesitant about going himself. He says if you think there is a problem then get yourself tested. He isn't ready to go himself. How do I convince him? Also, what are the odds that he is the one with the problem? Female infertility is far more common, no? So, should I just go alone? Get myself tested first? The way I see it is this. If there turns out to be nothing wrong with me, then by defaut he is the one with the problem. We would have just wasted time and money on me for nothing.
jasminecarlos's picture
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Joined: 2017-11-30
Hi there. How are you? I am sorry to hear the words. Your husband needs to understand the fact. Couple is incomplete until have a child. I think your husband will understand when you will request him with love. Let him understand the circumstances with love. Why don't you ask your mother to deal him politely? I am sure he would not deny him. I would recommend you to fly to Ukraine. I heard very positive reviews about surrogacy in Ukraine. What do you think? Stay happy. I hope you become mother soon. I wish you all the best. Take care of your diet and health.
Lambert's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-18
Infertility is becoming very common nowadys, but this problem is not of females. The percentage of infertility in both males and females is almost the same. Just like females there are also many causes of infertility in men. These may include: Abnormal sperm production or function due to undescended testicles, genetic defects, health problems such as diabetes or infections such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, mumps or HIV . Enlarged veins in the testes can also affect the quality of sperm. Sperms problems contribute to about 40% of infertility cases. If you are trying to conceive from the last two years, then there must be some problem in you or your husband. I do not understand why is he not willing to go with you to have his checkup. If he really wants children, then he should go with you. Try to convince him. Tell him that having any problem is not bad, not finding the solution of that problem is bad. You do not need to go alone. Carry him with you and have a complete checkup both of you. I pray you both are fine and do not have any major problem.
lisamorris's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-20
Hi dear. I can understand your situation. It is very difficult to convince male partner. I think you should do your work. Get yourself tested first. In this way, you will be sure. If everything is fine then convince your partner. It is not good to force him now. If there is a need then convince him patiently. Try to be very nice to tell the importance. He may not feel comfortable. You have to assure him that there is nothing wrong. It is good for your relationship. Save your relationship first then think of other things. I hope things turn in your favor. All the best to you.
weberquin's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-12
Hi Alison! I am sorry to hear that you are unable to conceive. I hope things will better soon. Yes, you rightly said that the female factor in infertility is higher than as compared to male, but cannot be excluded at all. I would suggest you start your initial tests together, it will save your time to reach some conclusion. As if you started your treatment and tests alone and later you find out after 1-2 years that the problem was with your husband, then you will have to wait longer to have a baby. So it’s better to conscience your husband somehow, and get yourself and husband checked together.
MaryAshford's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-25
Barrenness is winding up exceptionally basic these days, however, this issue isn't of females. The level of fruitlessness in the two guys and females is nearly the same. Much the same as females, there are likewise many reasons for barrenness in men. These may include: Abnormal sperm creation or capacity because of undescended gonads, hereditary deformities, medical issues, for example, diabetes or contaminations, for example, chlamydia, gonorrhea, mumps or HIV. Expanded veins in the testicles can likewise influence the nature of sperm. Sperms issues add to around 40% of fruitlessness cases. In the event that you are endeavoring to imagine throughout the previous two years, at that point, there must be some issue with you or your significant other. I don't comprehend why is he not willing to run with you to have his checkup. On the off chance that he truly needs youngsters, at that point he ought to run with you. Endeavor to persuade him. Reveal to him that having an issue isn't terrible, not finding the answer to that issue is awful. You don't have to go alone. Convey him to you and have an entire checkup both of you. I supplicate you both are fine and don't have any significant issue.
StarrHutchinson's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-23
Hey, that is definitely a little bit of a tough situation, but i can relate to how you must be feeling. its okay to be scared, and I would 100% advise you to go see a doctor and make sure that everything is alright with you. female infertility is a big problem with a lot of couples, but there are a lot of cases of male infertility too, so don't feel that all the pressure is on you. you should definitely go to the doctor, but afterward, you should have a heart to heart with your husband, and convince him that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and there are a lot of mean going through the same thing. it's not a big deal, and there are so many ways where male infertility can be dealt with. there is ivf in which you can both donate eggs and sperm, and have a test tube embryo that you can have implanted. if that's not possible there is an even sperm donation. and if the problem does turn out to be female infertility, there are many ways too. again, there is ivf, and there's also hormone treatments. i personally went for surrogacy by donating my own eggs, and my husband's sperm and i went to this great Ukrainian clinic and had such a great experience. the surrogacy went great and my baby is one year old now, he is happy and healthy! so don't lose faith, there are so many ways out there! i will post a link to the place i used in case you want to check it out! hand in there, keep trying, and consult a doctor! i am sure everything will work out! (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3wkbgaaXc2XaxTYJhtR0rA )
Rihana's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-23
The only way to convince him that test yourself. When everything is alright with you. Than show him report and tell him to watch. Nothing is more important for him as well. He'll cooperate with you than. Best of luck.
lauren's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-26
I can totally understand your feelings, dear. What you should do is that don't get rude with him. Ask him to go with you with intense love. Tell him the importance to have a child. You may go for infertility treatment. IVF, IUI, Surrogacy are few of them Surrogacy in Ukraine is on well hype nowadays. Good luck. Take care.
emily3432's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-28
Hello! I think that you should get yourself get checked first if that's what it takes to convince him. And this way both of you will really get to know that with whom the real problem is. Do not play the blame game at all. No matter who has the problem, both of you have to take equal part in the treatment for getting a baby as it can not be done alone by one of you. When it is clear that something is wrong with one of you, then I suggest you to go for IVF or surrogacy and you guys should not waste money into doing silly deficiency filling procedures. If you want to make your dreams come true ASAP then you guys should opt for surrogacy as it has a very high success rate. You don't have to worry about the costs as biotexcom really provides very economic packages that are X2 less than what they charge us for surrogacy in the US.
RachelBranson's picture
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Joined: 2018-01-20
Hi Pepe! Well, I went through your post. Yes! I think you should visit first. Usually, men are hesitant! But, getting yourself tested would clear things for you. It will give you a more clear path for decision making. So, yeah! You can convince your DH later. If he is hesitant and avoiding it now...Stay blessed and Good luck! xoxox
Sofia994's picture
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Joined: 2018-02-16
Hey Try to not to go alone in this way. Your partner support means alot to you. surrogacy is the most common method or way of having a child. i was also very stressed during my first marriage as i had many complications while getting pregnant. I conceived for three times but always resulted in miscarriage. I'm 43 years old now. Now i am married again and me and my husband are thinking of having of having a baby. I guess keeping in aspects like me a woman should probably go for surrogacy method to have a baby.. We are looking for a good clinic to support us and guide us through the whole process. BioTexCom is a good clinic with very good reputation. MAy be you can have a look at it. We researched about a number of clinics over the web and found many good clinics as well. You should also do research about surrogacy related clinics as well over the web and look for the best clinic. Surrogacy is the safe and the most good method of having a baby for women like us. Wish you a very good luck.
jenelia5's picture
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Joined: 2018-03-06
Hi dear! I hope you are doing fine. I think you and your partner should go together. Both of you should get yourself checked. The problem might be in either of you. If your husband does not go, try to talk to him soft and with love. Make him understand that he is important to you. Tell him that you both have a role in the future of your baby. I am sure he'll be convinced. Good luck!
hannahdavid's picture
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Joined: 2018-03-03
Hey, Alison, I hope you're doing good. Two years is a very long time and you should visit the doctor. If he is mentally not ready then you shouldn't waste any time and instead give a visit. If there is no problem with you then you should try to convince your husband. You will have to make him understand that it is something serious and shouldn't be delayed. The more quickly you are able to find the answers the better it is. Also, when you are trying to convince him to let him know that it is much easier to treat male infertility.
AnnaJhon's picture
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Joined: 2018-05-10
Hi, I hope you are doing well. Well, your husband should have to be understanding. Infertility is very common in both male and female. Also the ratio of infertility is approximately same for both. Try to convince him with love. Visit a doctor for testing. If anything wrong with you look for other options. Infertility is very painful. It is hard to deal with it. I am also an infertile. I can't conceive because of my disease. I suggest you to go for surrogacy in case of infertility. The process is very simple also the child belongs to you genetically. I hope you husband will agree with your decision. Bio TexCom is the best clinic for infertility. I recommend you to visit there. For more details visit their website http://mother-surrogate.info/
Angelica's picture
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Joined: 2018-05-20
Hi Pepe! Hope you are in good health. Men are not open to being tested, it is just their way. It would be better that you get yourself checked first. Even if nothing is wrong with you, it won’t be a complete waste of time and money since you would know where the problem lies. In most cases though, females are the ones carrying infertility. I am also infertile and know how hard it can be to deal with. Don’t give up hope even if something come up wrong with you. There are many alternative ways to start a family. Surrogacy came in handy to me since nothing was working for me. You could look for IVF and IUI too if God forbids something turns up wrong with you. All the best to you hope everything works out.
jennifer's picture
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Joined: 2018-03-11
Hey. I am so sorry for you. If he is hesitant than its great that you go alone. May be infertility lies in you. It is necessary to treat is before its too late. I have wasted times and now I am facing the aftermath of it. I was left infertile after my miscarriages. So I decided to go for surrogacy. now I have a baby. I have no more worries in life now.
Elena's picture
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Joined: 2018-04-07
I can't get pregnant and i don't know the reason for it too. The doctors are also unable to find the reason for this. I have gone through extensive testings but the doctors are also unable to find the main cause for my infertility. They can't tell the main problem. I have been trying to conceive from last 10 years now. But still i didn't conceived. As doctors can't tell the main cause of my infertility i guess i will go for surrogacy now. I live in Bulgaria where surrogacy is prohibited. I heard there are many clinics for infertility treatment in Ukraine. I read about many clinics there from these forums. I have found BioTexCom clinic from Ukraine.People talk mostly about this clinic. I will contact this clinic and will consult them about my problem. Surrogacy is very popular there so i guess i will also have a baby from surrogacy.
jenna's picture
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Joined: 2018-05-30
Hello. I am so sad for you. On the off chance that he is reluctant than its incredible that you go alone. Maybe infertility lies in you. It is important to treat is before its past the point of no return. I have squandered circumstances and now I am confronting its result. I have faced infertility for 10 years. I never knew the reason. So I chose to go for surrogacy. presently I have a child. I have no more stresses in life now.
Monabaker's picture
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Joined: 2018-04-23
Infertility can be in any one of the two. Male infertility is very common these days as well. It is rising at a very high rate. It is due to the excessive use of Alcohol. I think your husband is scared. He knows somewhere. That he might be the problem. It hurts his ego. It is very common. Males dont accept infertility very easily. They take it on their manliness. I think you can yourself checked. If the results are in your favor. Show it to your husband. Tell him it is his turn now. It will clear out the picture easily.
MarieJames's picture
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Joined: 2018-05-14
Pepe, this is concerning that your man isn't realizing the issue. However, the MFI is a serious issue but can be treated. But it's not that easy. On the other hand, the female infertility is also a major and complicated factor. The natural conception is most cases isn't a success than the assisted fertility treatments are there. I must tell you that when you go to a good and reputed RE or fertility specialist then he asks you to bring your husband along. This won't be a major cause of concern at the moment and he will be convinced naturally. So, you just keep looking for good doctors. Take an appointment. The fertility tests involve all sorts of blood works, scans, and semen analysis. Then your evaluation will determine the cause and possible treatments.
jazz_roxx's picture
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Joined: 2018-04-18
Hello there, how are you? I felt deep grief to read your story. You should convince your husband to accept the reality. Only a child can convert a couple to a family. I’m sure your DH will understand everything when you’ll tell him with evidence. But it will take some time. Why your mother doesn’t deal with him politely? I’m damn sure that your DH will not deny the fact. I would like to suggest you Europe as the best place for the treatment. Clinics in Eastern Europe are known for their professionalism. The success rate is very high there. Also, their administration is very able in this regard. I believe that you’ll become a mother soon. Wishing you all the best. Just take care of your diet and health too.
mari_75's picture
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Joined: 2018-06-08
Hi how are you. I can completely understand your confusion. In my opinion you must take him with you. That your wrong thinking that problem is always with the females only. Males can be infertile too. Males find difficulty in sharing this with others. They are very difficult to understand in this situation. You must need to discuss this issue with him. Try to convince him that it's not his fault. It's all by natural means. IUI will be the best solution for this problem. In this male sperm will be transmitted to fertilize the egg. So take him with you while visiting the doctor. I wish that it will be successful. I may wish you find your happiness in the form of children.
Ava
Ava's picture
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Joined: 2018-03-16
As a partner, you should both stand by each other. No matter who the one is at fault. This could happen to anyone. But the thing is that how maturely you act towards this thing. I know. To almost every situation. The women are the one that is considered responsible for all the worst things happening. And you got to understand that no matter what you have to take a step forward. I believe that you should do some of the tests yourself first. Just to make him realize that at least you are fertile. And make him convince to go for the test procedures. As this is the thing that you both want to happen. The baby is for the family for the partners. Not only for the women. He has to understand that. I wish you all the luck and positivity to your life. Baby dust!!
rozi_121's picture
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Joined: 2018-06-09
No you should not go alone. While visiting your doctor you must take your husband with you . While reading your post. I think that you are healthy. There isn't any infertility issue with you. I think so the problem is with your husband. Man is difficult to understand. They won't easily share their feelings with anyone. You should talk to him. Try to convince him. Science has found a solution to every problem. There are different treatment for that issues. You must take him with you. There is a good clinic in Europe. They are best in dealing fertility issues.
Jessika's picture
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Joined: 2019-03-18
Hi, in my opinion you need to undergo a medical examination yourself. Your example will contribute to the fact that your husband will change his point of view on this question. After all, if you do not have health problems, then your husband will be tormented by doubts about his own health. These doubts and fears will make him go for a medical examination. To be honest, I don’t understand why you didn’t undergo a medical examination earlier? After all, you are trying to conceive a child for 2 years unsuccessfully. And this is a significant indicator that problems still exist. Also, I do not quite understand why your husband responds to your request this way. He may be aware of his problems in the reproductive sphere and is afraid to confess to you. But perhaps he does not want to have children and does not want to undergo treatment if problems are found. In fact, your situation is quite strange, because two years is a very long time. And if the couple really insisted on conceiving a child and they fail for two years, it should alert them, no doubt. And unfortunately, most likely, problems will still be found. However, they can be minor and easily adjusted. But, in any case, do not avoid problems, go to the clinic and undergo examinations. After all, perhaps, earlier examination will be able to prevent serious contraindications.
Isabella09's picture
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Joined: 2018-07-27
Hi. Hope you are well. Getting the news of infertility can really break someone. But it seems like you have kind of made your mind up for the consequences. But your husband hasn't. He is not ready for this. I think you should talk to him about how he feels about all this. if its okay, you should wait for him to be ready for this and go with him. But if you think he will take time in processing this. Then go with him but don't force him to take a test. You can take tests for yourself. I really hope everything is fine though. You should know that there are so many other fertility treatments that you can get to solve all the problems. I know of a great place too, if you're looking for one. Good luck.
MadisonA's picture
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Joined: 2018-12-09
Hey, honey! How are you? I'm sorry to read about your situation. I think he's just afraid. Which is common, you must be too. It's nothing to worry about. I'd suggest you people talk it out, first of all. Your husband is your life partner. It's really crucial to be on the same page. It would make a lot of sense to talk about these things in detail. Then, you can actually go together and get tested. I hope it will be nothing serious. Here's to hoping things work out and you get a BFP! Good luck on your journey. You can do this!
Maline's picture
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Joined: 2018-12-01
Hey there. How are you? I hope you're in good health. Your husband is probably a bit paranoid. The problem of infertility is pretty serious. I can see why he's so reluctant. However, you shouldn't be blaming yourselves for all of this? It could still be something serious. You should get yourself checked if you're that worried. I hope it's nothing. However, making premature decisions never helps. It's so important to get it checked and to stay on the safe side. Either way, remember not to worry. There are very good alternatives available in all cases. Fingers crossed you find success. Good luck and lots of love.

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