Relationships change in many ways when you have a baby. Your partner is no longer just your lover- he is also your companion in parenthood. Sex can become a problem in the first few months after the birth, and this can make you both feel low.
The best time to start making love again is when you both feel ready. It's quite normal to experience a temporary lack of interest , or to feel too sore and tender to resume sex before your post-natal check. If you had an episiotomy, your partner should not attempt penetration until you are comfortable with this. Foreplay will be important because the glands that normally lubricate the vaginal area may not function as well for a short while after delivery, and you may need to use a lubricating cream or jelly .
Many women feel unattractive after giving birth . Your body is probably still bloated or overweight, and it is difficult to feel sexually attractive if you are breastfeeding, have sore nipples, and leaking breasts . Starting post-natal exercises to get back into shape will improve your self-esteem. It is not uncommon for new fathers to lose their sex drive for several months after childbirth, especially if the baby is sleeping in their bedroom, and therefore a seemingly constant distraction . Your partner may also feel neglected because the baby takes up most of your time and energy. Both of you must be prepared for these distressing reactions, and try not to take them personally. Being open and talking about any problems is often the best solution but if, after several months, one of you is still feeling reluctant to resume your sexual relationship, seek professional advice. You'll be surprised how easy it is to talk about your problems with a third party. Consult your doctor about this; if necessary, you may be referred to a counselor.
Even if you are breastfeeding, or your periods have not begun again, you can still become pregnant again so you or your partner will need to use some form of contraception. Some contraceptive methods are recommended above others at this particular time, and your midwife or doctor will discuss these with you after the birth, and again at your six-week check