a special place in a special time
23 posts / 0 new
Last post
mumofacub's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-28
in real trouble
I don't know how to say this. I have been feeling very much shattered and clueless for the past few years. Me and my husband have been trying to conceive for 9 years. I don't know why was not it diagnosed earlier although I have been seeing specialists all this time. Anyway, I know now that me and my partner are both infertile. My cause of infertility is unexplained which happens only in 20% cases. There was a point when I decided to end my life but i was saved. I don't feel like a complete woman anymore. I just feel worthless piece of s*** on the surface of earth who cannot have her own baby. I tried to adopt a baby but thing were not in my favor and the court refused to let me be a mom because of several reasons which didn't make any sense to me. I so fed up now. I don't know for how long will I be able to live like that. Why is the nature so unfair to me??? Why can't I be a mom?? Am I Asking for too much?
Edited by mumofacub on 2017-08-01 09:33
fridankatha's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-06-30
sorry dear, life is not usually as fair as we may wish it to be. for starters, the case of ttc for long without success is not unique in your case, it is seen in several couples. have you come to terms with the fertility situation? have you gone for the female fertility test? have you taken your husband to the testing for sperm count? a number of factors may be at play some of which may be beyond your control. that is the sad reality i came face to face with while trying to conceive to no avail. however, according to your case, you have tried adoption which the court in your country threw out. countries have different adoption regulations and so you may opt for other parenting techniques. while it may not be a walk in the park for you to try IVF or surrogacy, these may make you pregnant without having to go through the legal system. the use of IVF is globally known though there are countries that do not allow it. if you have the means, you may try a place like Ukraine with its good clinics for a break. as you will notice on a number of posts, many women are trooping to one clinic called biotex, which seems to have good facilities.
Elly123's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-29
Why did not you think about surrogate motherhood ?????????? After all, you have the situation when you should resort to this procedure. Are you worried about the material issue? Then you just need to find a clinic that would suit you in all respects. Perhaps you should look for clinics abroad. I know that many Europeans and Americans are being treated in Ukraine. And, what do you think about the maternity? What doubts do you have? We all know the famous phrase of Nietzsche, "What does not kill us makes us stronger." Infertility can make you more sensitive and emotionally much more resilient. So that any trials in the future will seem childish to you, compared to what you already had to endure. The way you react to the struggle determines who you are. A person can never grow to his true potential until he is forced to leave his comfort zone. Accept your suffering with gratitude. And let them make you stronger and learn useful lessons. "Life is a series of experiments. Each of which makes us better, although sometimes it is difficult for us to understand this.
ghhj
sanjana's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-22
Hey why are you thinking like this? Ending your life will not be a solution. Of course I understand that infertility make you feel more emotionally upset. Try to face it boldly. Child may be really a part of life but it doesn't mean to give your life. You have many things to enjoy and feel around this world. But if you really need a child try to visit biotexcom clinic. They solve many problems like yours. Giving a try is quite worthy than being quite. Many of my friends got good result from that clinic.You may also think about surrogate mother. Suggest with your husband and do a quick decision. He will really support you. Keep your mind peaceful. Good luck:) God bless you
Natalia's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-27
Yes, dear girl who wrote this post, use the advice sanjana. The clinic she talks about is very good. It's true. Many people who have the same problem as you are treated in this clinic. Simply because it is in the first place in the ranking of the best clinics that deal with this issue. Therefore, many know about this clinic, there are good doctors. Good service. And in general, Kiev is quite a beautiful city) But, do not ever think about ending your life again! It is a sin. You should be treated and prays. And the main thing is to believe. In extreme cases, you can use the services of a surrogate mother! In the above-mentioned clinic they also offer this service. By the way, it was in this clinic that a woman from Switzerland was treated. Everyone knows this story. This story has made a breakthrough. The woman was able to give birth to two children at 65 years of age. Than you are worse ??????

yfnkkl

kellyK1's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-08-02
I am feeling very sad to hear this news. I can understand your physical and mental stage at this situation. I also face this critical problem in my life. I am feeling happy to help you to overcome this difficult situation on behalf of my own experience. I spend lots of day of my life with depression and stress due to this problem. I avoid attending party and meeting due to this problem. This critical problem is ruining my life day by day. I decide to overcome this situation at any cost. I got full support for my husband with detail research on Internet to get latest treatment and effective method to cure this problem. We consult with popular gynecologist of Ukraine. She diagnoses my problem and case history to understand the matter in effective way finally I got success to get baby gift in my life. You can follow these effective tips and tricks that help you to solve your problem in professional way. You should live Healthy lifestyle and balanced diet that create Win-Win situation for you to conceive. It increases your blood circulation in your body and enhances hemoglobin level in your blood that is very necessary to do proper of work for your reproduction system. You need not panic about infertility problem you can choose the best in class effective Medical Research based treatment IVF you can say it is test tube baby. You should be very informative to understand the latest medical term in easy way surrogacy is another effective way to skip risk of miscarriage and any area that situation during pregnancy. You can easily choose healthy egg donor to enhance success rate. Sadness and depression are very harmful for pregnant and conceiving women. You can convert your imagination into reality by choosing IVF technique to become complete mother in your life that is dream of every woman.
gracee's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-04-03
sorry to hear about your issue, infertility is a hard issue but you can fight with it. There are plenty of options that could help you. Why don't you want to adopt a child, in this case you don't need to waste a lot of money? There are lots of babies waiting for their parents, to my mind is could be a great idea. by the way, have you consulted any clinics about your case? Have you made up your mind for any place? My advice is pay attention to everything before going somewhere, because sometimes life could be really cruel. Define for yourself what you want to see at your clinic? As far as I know some could provide with a wide range of services like food, accommodation, interpreter and transportation. I suppose it's really great especially when you don't want to spend a lot of money.
Ali
Ali's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-08-07
Hello! I apologize for the long story just sore! Since 2005, my husband and I are trying to get pregnant, but to no avail. How much this expectation takes away strength and nerves, can not convey. All these three years I drank hormones that stimulated my ovulation, gaining weight and even did not allow the thought that the reason for anything else was, there was no abortion! Then suddenly it dawned on me, there is ovulation, why the pregnancy does not come, maybe I can not pass the pipes? My husband took me to the professors and then a full examination began, a lot of tests, manipulations and operations! The pipe is by nature absent, the second tube is slightly impassable, they made laporoscopy, the tube was restored and again the hormones! Time goes by, but no result, it turns out that I ovulate in that ovary, where there is no pipe! The result of IVF! I gathered and went to the clinic, where they do IVF (biotexcom). Started the IVF procedure, everything was fine and good, all the indicators are just excellent, the eggs were born, they were fertilized and two embryos were injected to me. BUT I'M A GIRL STRONG AND I'LL FIGHT TO THE END, THROUGH THE SEVEN, WE REPEAT THE ATTEMPT AND WITH THE ACCOUNT OF OUR EXPERIENCE EXACTLY ALL WILL GET !!! Let it pass you by and you will become moms and dads from the first attempt, but if it is not possible to stop all the same. We must immediately understand, only 30% of success! And with age, this percentage decreases and if you can not get pregnant yourself do not waste time! We have a second attempt, tomorrow an embryo transfer! But we think that if the second attempt does not work out, then we will definitely use the service of surrogate motherhood. In this clinic, we have already been invited to consider this issue.
рао
gracee's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-04-03
Sorry Ali you have faced a fertility issues. I know it really hurts, it leaves no hope for the future and you want nothing to do. It's great you find some strength to share your experience there and I appreciate your courage to fight again. You know not all woman could overcome such issues. When I got to know I would not have a chance to conceive I was just down. I didn't want to fight, other people didn't support me I mean my family. They just told it's better to adopt a baby as I would never get a chance to conceive again. Thanks god they were not rue and thanks to my clinic and wonderful doctors I got pregnant. So I wanted to say there is still a solution, don't afraid and move on... oh, may ask a question where you went for your ivf treatment?
arika's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-08-22
Sweetheart mumofacub) you should not be so categorical, because medicine is constantly evolving. We live in the 21st century and your problem has a solution. How are you doing with the money? Can you use the services of maternity? My friend became a mother with the help of a surrogate mother. The clinic suggested that they get acquainted with the database of the surrogate mothers. All the women who were brought into the base have already been examined and interviewed. Therefore, when they chose a suitable girl for them, they signed a contract with her. By the way, usually in these clinics are full-time lawyers, so you do not have to look for lawyers yourself. Their surrogate mother even agreed to move to their country. But it is important to note that not every surrogate mother will want to move. Therefore, if you want her to go with you, you need to specify this issue in advance. To ensure that you are provided with only the profiles of those girls who agree to relocate. You can also use the eggs of an anonymous donor. I hope you will find the opportunity and the strength.
sdbfgnv
gracee's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-04-03
arika, you are totally right all surrogates were interviewed before they became surrogates. In addition, they underwent a set of tests in order to confirm that they are healthy and there no worries for the parents. what do you mean by saying she could move with you>? as far as i know they live at the places for the surrogates where always some doctors and other personnel.
Lilly08's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-26
Thank you for all this information @Arika and @Gracee. I also didn't understand the part related to relocation. I didn't know that was possible .. hmm... are you sure, @Arika?
gracee's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-04-03
haha, the same with me. i haven't heard that surrogates could move to other countries. She might mean that they could move to the hotels provided by clinic and back to home? As far as I know some surrogates can stay at home but they are checked regularly? They must lead a healthy life style and do all doc's prescriptions. Probably Arika were talking about some other clinics not about biotex. Anyway, how are you all here?
Lilly08's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-26
Hi @gracee. Yes, that was strange! I haven't heard that at all. It would be so risky in my opinion. Exactly, it is not at biotex. Maybe she meant somewhere else. How have you been? I've been a bit busy. I just saw your message. Glad to find you again here. Is everything alright?
Armani's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-10-18
Hello, there. My daughter and her husband were also suffering from infertility. They didn't want to adopt. So, they had less options than you do. You are really crazy if you decided to end your life. This is a very stupid idea. Modern medicine offers a lot of options for infertile couples. Did you try to talk to your doctor? He should help you find the solution. As it was mentioned before, surrogasy is a great option. Actually, my grandson was born by the surrogate. I understand that it is very strange to let an outside woman give birth to your baby, but do you have a choice? As for me, if a woman really wants to become a mom, she will do it. I helped my daughter to go through all the steps of the surrogacy. We have chosen one of the most popular clinics in Europe. I've read a lot of positive reviews about it's service. By the way, before going there, I've looked through hundreds of forums like this. I wanted to make sure that this service is safe for the baby. I assure you it is safe. But unfortunately, it is not legal in all countries. Before signing an agreement, ask your lawyer to check it one more time. Or if you don't have your own lawyer, ask your coordinator from the clinic to recommend one for you. All the preparations, including embryo transfer, took 3 months. In a couple of months after the pregnancy beginning, we were allowed to visit the surrogate. My daughter with her husband were often visiting her to make sure that she was fine. Also, the representative of the clinic was always calling them to let them know the tests results. I can truly say, they had nothing to worry about. My grandson was born 9 months ago. I'm really happy that I assured my daughter to go to that reproduction center. It is very important for every woman to become a mother. I just hope my story will help you understand that you can change your life! Good luck, dear.
Lilly08's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-07-26
Hi @Armani.. welcome to the forum. Congratulations for your grandson!Glad to know your daughter made her dream come true. Unfortunately surrogacy is still a taboo for a lot of people. Happy to know she found a good clinic. Where did she go? I signed with biotexcom and I'm satisfied with their services so far. Excited and looking forward to keeping on going.
Armani's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-10-18
Hello @Lilly. Thank you for congratulations. We are extremely happy to have him. He is such a great boy. You made a right choice. My daughter has also chosen the biotexcom. Before going there we read a lot of positive reviews about this medical center. Now I know that they all were real. The clinic is really great. Doctors there care about every couple. They do everything possible to help infertile people. By the way, even singles can use surrogacy to become parents. Medicine is so progressive nowadays. I'm surprised a bit. I wish you good luck with your surrogacy process. Hope to hear good news from you soon.
Sandra's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-11-01
Well, your situation is not pleasant at all. But I'm sure you are overreacting. There's no need to end your life because of infertility. I'm also infertile but I'm single. I don't want to get married. The only option for me is an egg donation. And I will do it. You are lucky to have a loving husband. You can easily become parents with the help of surrogacy. I know a couple, who spent 5 years ttc. They are parents now. Their baby was born by the surrogate. I'm sure you can do the same. I want you to stay positive and to keep trying. Good luck!
phoebe's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-12-01
Hello, dear. Seems like you are desperate. Unexplained infertility is a real problem nowadays. A lot of women don't know how to fight this disease. I'm very sorry that you are among them. But I believe that you are strong enough to find the solution. Have you been thinking of IVF? My friend got pregnant after the second IVF attempt. It took 2 years for her to get pregnant. But she did it. I think it is worth trying. In case of unexplained infertility all fertility specialists recommend to try the IVF. There's no guarantee that it would help but there's a huge chance. I gave birth to our first baby. I got pregnant easily and had no problems during the pregnancy. Unfortunately, the delivery was really awful. I had a lot of surgeries and as a result I was unable to get pregnant again. My husband didn't get lost and started looking for solutions. He didn't want to adopt, by the way. That's why we decided to try the surrogacy. We have chosen the BioTexCom reproduction center. We entered their VIP program. The reason is that this program gave us the multiple quantity of embryo transfers. It means that we would get our baby 100%. So, in 9 months our twin boys were born. I was shocked and excited to find out that I would be a mother of 3 boys. To say truth, it is pretty hard. But I'm doing my best. My husband is helping me very much. I think you can also try this option. It really works, dear.
pepe820's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-12-30
Hi there dear. I am so sorry to hear your story. I know how hard it can get. However, my dear, please it is not a solution to attempt suicide. That won't help. I would suggest seeking help from a psychiatrist first. I fear you might have symptoms of depression etc. Get those addressed first. After this, you can resume your efforts to have a child. Have you considered surrogacy? I know of a clinic that is working wonders in the field. You could approach them. However, your mental health should be your first priority right now. Good luck! Feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk.
miapark's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017-12-30
Aww, Darling! You're not something to pity. I need you to be strong. I exactly know how you feel. I really have been there. I was also near to end up my life due to depression and anxiety due to my own condition. I know how hard is to be infertile women. There is nothing as embarrassing as it! But, I think we should really be strong. I really think nature has made women, even more, stronger than men. I was just as low down as you. But, I went to have an IVF which really helped me change my life. Now, I've happened to conceive through the process. I know it's hard but it was my only way and Thank GOD! It worked in my favor. I even visited Ukraine on a medical tour for it. But, it really was worth it. Now, I have this son through the process.
melissa25's picture
Offline
Joined: 2018-01-11
Hope that you are all fine as I am. I am very new in this forum and I don't know well how this forum works but in the meantime, I have something to share with you. I have been married for more than three years now. We didn't planned to have a child during our first phase of marriage. This was because we needed some humble time to celebrate our marriage alone. Since the past two years, We decided to look for one. We have been trying but nothing seems to happen. Finally I got pregnant after some treatment. Now the biggest challenge that has come is that after been pregnant, am still receiving my periods. Is this normal. What can be wrong with me. I have gone for various check up and they have confirm of my pregnancy. What are precautions for this. has anyone ever been through such experience. Any lead will be highly appreciated. Thanks
karamiracle's picture
Offline
Joined: 2018-01-20
Hi, you sound so frustrated and distressed. I know you must feel wrecking from inside. Let me first tell you that you are beautiful the way you are, your infertility won’t define how capable you are, look at the brighter side of the life. To every dark tunnel, there is a light to the end; then why are you so fed up with the life situations. These situations are the actual test to strengthen your bond with your husband instead of depriving him of the emotional support you both need from each other. Life isn’t unfair it’s just that we presume our life to go according to a certain plan and when that plan does not work-out; we overreact and blame it on life. Why are you loosing hope when you know there are several ways other than adoption to fulfill your dream, go for a surrogacy may be, there is BIOTEX clinic in Ukraine.Nothing is impossible if you try your level best to achieve it. I would also counsel you to pay a visit to a psychologist; their techniques might help you cope up with the anxiety situation you are facing. And you are not alone in this case, just think there are millions of women out there who are dealing with worst conditions.

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Fill in the blank