My sister overtakes me
Hi everybody! I’m going to share some story. Maybe it’ll be a little bit
unusual and even uncomfortable to read.
I’m not an envious or jealous person. I’m used to accept all people’s
features calmly. The following story took my tranquility away.
I don’t recognize myself. All my thoughts are filled with negative
emotions. It’s not fine.
And it’ll be helpful to talk to someone. I’d like to get some advice. How
to behave, how to live with it.
During last 5 years my husband and I were involved in fertility battling. I
don’t know how to put this in words. Shortly, we’ve been trying to
We tried it hard. I underwent IVF. I was approaching my cherished dream.
Honestly, it’s hard to call it an approach. I was always close to become a
mother. Instead of that my dreams got crashed against the wall of
Sorry, I’m not begging you to sympathize me. I respect your compassion.
However, this appeal isn’t about my infertility.
It’s mostly telling about my relationship with my own sister. Let me break
it down for you. My post can be a little longer than it’s used to be on
Okay, briefly, my husband married me. He knew I was infertile, beforehand. Or
it’s better to say I knew my ovaries didn’t work well.
I always had changeable periods. It was difficult to catch to date of my
ovulation. My reproductive system didn’t work in order since I got my first
It didn’t bring much discomfort. There were not inconveniences until I
wanted to have a baby. something as always went in wrong direction.
My husband said everything would be amazing. Perhaps we meant we have many
options of treatment around. In fact, most of them were inefficient.
My sister is 7 years younger than me. She was a very active supporter while
I’ve been trying to conceive. She expressed a great understanding.
I had her beside when I was broken after failures. Her point of view was
clear. She said she would never try so hard to have a baby.
She’s not ready to sacrifice. It was too sad to see how I’m suffering
from it. As well, she didn’t want to become a mother yet.
It was quite reasonable. There wasn’t maternal feeling inside her heart.
She maybe even doesn’t love babies.
I don’t remember she played with dolls when she was a child. My sister was
a difficult kid. No doubts, she could hardly be a good mother.
After my fourth cycle I gave up. My husband agreed with me. It became harder
to take another failed attempt.
I was afraid one day I’d get finished with bad consequences. My lining
doesn’t let the embryos attach. I understood it was my final round.
We had to consider new ways how to achieve our aim. We always had admirable
relations with a mother. She’s a very patient and wise woman.
She used to be patient. My husband and I announced we were going to apply for
surrogacy in some clinic. We saved enough money.
That method must have expedited our plans of having a baby. It seemed as a
good plan for both of us. Unexpectedly, my mother said she didn’t see
it’d be right.
We wanted her to lend us a part of whole sum needed for having such a
program. She has actually had her own savings. We didn’t think it would be
so unpleasant to speak about it.
Then the most interesting just began. She called my sister to join the
conversation. The truth emerged on the surface.
My sister was in the 10th week of pregnancy. Who knew? They concealed it from
The next phrase was that she hadn’t ever liked an idea of surrogacy. It’s
unbearable for her. My sister needs those saving more than my doubtful
It hurt me a lot. My husband didn’t say anything. It was just painful to
My sister who never wanted to have a baby is now pregnant. What a craziness?
I’m freaking out!
She doesn’t even have a husband. No, what am I telling about?! She
doesn’t have a boyfriend.
No, even that’s not fair enough. She doesn’t even know who’s a daddy.
And now I see even my mother is tired of my treatments and my endless
weeping. She supports my sister. Of course, she’s happily pregnant.
What is that? How to treat my sister and my mother? How to behave in such
It was really so meanly. I feel bad because of this. I don’t know how to
find the most decent behavior.
I lost my desire to move on. They all switched something off in me. I’m
going to become an auntie.
Do you understand? I forgave my sister when she was stealing money from my
pockets and shelves. I was all right when she stole and smashed our mammy’s
I was kind to her when she came back home drunk and tried to set a fire in
the middle of the hall. She was caught with weed. She slept with our
She hated my man and called him a “Jewish fagot”. She sold mother’s
golden ring that was a gift from our great grandma. My sister injured some
guy at the party.
She tried to stab him by the switch knife because as she said he provoked her
with blow kiss. It’s not a full list of her pranks. It’s terrible and
always dangerous. I don’t know what to think.
I’m confused absolutely. I’m frustrated. I feel a huge resentment
regarding all these last events.
Maybe you see I’m too selfish. You can probably suggest me to be cleverer
and tolerant. I merely don’t want to be okay with that.
I don’t believe it is coincidence. This was my story. How to be with that
Surely, it’s not easy to understand well what is going on from the text. I
tried to be maximally frank.
Do you have a naughty sister? You have to get me right. It’s not a common
story but it happens.
Only now I understood. We always have a sort of competition. I’m not sure
what we’ve been battling for.
Maybe it was mother’s care. Perhaps we wanted to draw all attention. I
don’t want to believe we hated each other secretly.
I recollected all her bad things. All those worst deed surfaced in front of
my eyes. I said I had forgiven her everything.
It seems I didn’t forget anything. She forced me to reboot my cruel memory
card. I guess it’d be logical if we found out she fed me with toxins, mixed
them with porridge and juices when we were younger.
And that caused my fertility problems. I’m certainly joking. But telling
that I assume it could be so because she doesn’t have got brakes.
She is not familiar with words responsibility and punishment. I described her
like a demon. I exaggerated but partly it’s really true.